A Reluctant Top

Written By: LJ

(A DP Philosophy Question posted on our WL group: Has your Brat ever run away; not because of an impending punishment, but because of something you may have done?)


Hello. Finding this question is affording me the opportunity to officially introduce myself. My name is Glen Chamberlain and my partner is TJ Cameron, whom you’ve heard from in the past.

First I’d like to provide a little history on TJ’s and my relationship. TJ and I have known each other for going on ten years. We dated off and on for the first five of those years before realizing whom we wanted to spend the rest of our lives with. This month we celebrate our fourth year of co-habitation. Admittedly, we got off to a bit of a rocky start. I won’t go into it at this time as TJ has already expounded upon it in his answer to an earlier DP Philosophy question. Things smoothed out for awhile and then almost two years ago gradually started to turn sour again. I am more than willing to accept my portion of responsibility for what happened. There was a lot of non-communication on both our parts.

At the time, TJ was excelling in his career; my business was expanding and meeting my expectations; we had both worked hard and were satisfied with our accomplishments. Having finally settled into a routine of sorts, we were looking forward to spending more time with each other and socializing with friends. Over the years, we’d had a few opportunities to visit with Rowan and Jayson during the construction stage of their cabin. TJ always seemed to enjoy these visits and it came as quite a surprise when he began to find reasons to avoid taking trips to B.C.

Looking back, I realized this unexpected change coincided with Jayson finding his life-partner. Riley is a wonderful man and it is obvious that he and Jayson belonged together. I was at a loss as to why TJ, over a period of time, became so obnoxious. His hateful attitude actually accelerated and reached an all-time high when Rowan’s beautiful young lover was introduced to us. But I’ll come back to that later.

As I already mentioned, TJ had clearly made known his preference to stay home rather than visit our long-time friends. Every time plans were made to get together, he’d come up with an excuse at the last minute and we’d have to cancel. However, he was unable to explain this change of heart, as he had always been very excited about making the trip.

I had finally reached the end of my patience when I informed TJ we would be spending a three-day weekend with Rowan, Jayson and their partners. I succinctly stated my aspiration to go and under no circumstances would our plans be cancelled at the last minute. Mind you, at the time I had no idea of how I would go about enforcing this declaration. I had hoped TJ would be willing to comply out of fairness if nothing else. Such was not the case and my wishes were once again ignored.

We packed on Thursday evening. TJ had been quiet but not sullen. He had also been fairly co-operative. I allowed myself to be lulled into a false sense of security, believing all was well. I got home Friday afternoon with intentions to pick up my lover and hit the road. TJ was not there waiting for me. The apartment was empty and an echoing silence greeted me. My first inclination was to go without him, but I quickly smothered that thought. I had been looking forward to a wonderful weekend with the love of my life and I had no desire to be the odd man out with two other couples.

It took me several hours to accept the fact that TJ had run away. I eventually tracked him down two days later. He was staying at the home of a fellow employee, a young woman by the name of Sally. God only knows what explanation he offered Sally’s parents for being there.

I asked him what I had done to cause him to run out on me. I now know the problem arose not from something I had done, but for something I had not done. Unfortunately, TJ was either unable or unwilling to discuss what was bothering him and another month passed before the riddle was solved.

You see, when the four of us were in university and sharing an apartment, we considered Jayson head of the household. I know we all had different reasons for doing so when we agreed to uphold the rules we’d drawn up together. Rowan, I believe, let Jayson assume this role because of Rowan’s innate preference for order. I looked to Jayson for assistance in helping me stay focused on my goals and avoid the pitfalls often associated with being away from home for the first time. The majority of Jayson’s help was in the form of him setting an example and being a role model. TJ, I later learned, requested a lot more support and structure. He has volatile mood swings and a tendency to over-react in situations where he feels he has been slighted. TJ needed and badly wanted someone to lean on. He outdid himself within the boundaries he and Jayson set up for him.
I eventually overcame those areas I had problems in. I thought TJ had done the same. I have never been more mistaken.

Don’t get me wrong. TJ is a very competent man. He maintained an excellent GPA all through university, even after Jayson had graduated and moved on. TJ completed his final two years while living on his own. He has, at times, a very stressful career but deals well with it and has made a name for himself within his chosen field. He is more than capable of taking care of himself. He exercises, eats and sleeps well, has good health habits, and can manage his finances. Of course, like all of us, he’s not perfect. He has a tendency to be untidy, often drives too fast, and has difficulty controlling his temper. He has his limits, although he finds it hard to admit. He is a very proud man.

As I’ve said, TJ never gave me any indication of his desire for the re-enforcement of a safety structure consisting of rules and consequences. I had not gone into TJ’s and my relationship intending to have a DP, and I was unaware of TJ wanting one. That is, not until the Christmas holiday we spent at the cabin with Jayson, Riley, Rowan and Darby.

I should point out that TJ was never upset over Rowan and Jayson having partners. He was jealous of Riley and Darby having partners who provided the support and assistance that he himself wanted but was unable to ask me for.

The clarification of wants and needs provided a dramatic shifting of power within our partnership. Making the transition wasn’t easy. Our lack of communication skills was the biggest obstacle we had to deal with and conquer. But we did it and now have a happy, loving, stable relationship.

TJ likes to remind me I was once a reluctant Top. He also generously acknowledges how quickly I assumed my responsibilities when it came to safeguarding my Brat. In our household, it has become a well-established rule that running away is a spanking offence and it is a rule TJ makes every effort to adhere to.

I only hope I never cause him to run away again because of my not doing what was necessary to meet his needs.

The End.