Starting Over

Written By: LJ

Special thanks to EM, Cora, and D’be-D’be for all your help and encouragement.


It was after ten o’clock in the evening when Glen turned off the computer and for the second time in less than a week, admitted his failure in fulfilling his partner’s needs. He twirled his chair around to stare out the window into the darkened sky and mentally review the events of the past month.

************

Glen and TJ had returned home three weeks ago after spending the Christmas holidays with Rowan, Jayson and their partners. They were determined to put into practice the life-style changes they had jointly decided upon. Their homecoming had been followed by several busy days as they caught up at their workplaces.

Glen was immediately swamped with the need to decorate the interior of a new home. Unfortunately, due to the contractors falling behind schedule, additional pressure was put on him to finish in less time than he would have liked. The homeowners’ inability to make decisions did not help the situation and he found himself working a lot of extra hours.

TJ missed his partner. He hated coming home every evening to an empty apartment, hated having to make a meal only to end up eating it by himself, hated having no one to talk over his day with. Although things at the pharmacy had gone smoothly the first couple of weeks into the New Year, the last few days had really begun to go downhill. Flu season had struck, increasing both his workload and his resentment.

Earlier last week, they had spent one of their few evenings together talking about how their days were going. They were sitting side by side on the comfortable leather sofa in the living room of their apartment, enjoying an after-dinner brandy.

“The Hennesey’s are driving me right around the bend,” Glen had complained. “Nancy and Donald Hennesey have been arguing in each other’s faces all week. They are a couple of young, spoiled socialites whose parents gave them this newly-build house as a wedding gift. They each have very good, if somewhat different, ideas as to how they want their home decorated but are too newly-married to have learned the art of compromise. If this keeps up, I’ll be giving them one final ultimatum before this week is over.”

TJ would have like a few ultimatums of his own but didn’t want to burden the other man by requesting the attention and support Glen had promised him. Success in TJ’s career depended on him following specific guidelines and he functioned well within the security of those rules. However, in his personal life TJ felt he was spinning out of control. He needed boundaries and he wanted his partner’s guidance.

By Friday of the same week, Glen realized he should have taken care of business matters sooner than he had when he demanded that his clients make a final decision. He was gathering up his supplies after having listened to yet another argument between the young couple.

“I’m sorry, Mr. & Mrs. Hennesey, but I’m afraid I can no longer work under these conditions. I know your preferences and I am more than willing to decorate in a manner that I am sure will satisfy both of you, but if you can’t trust me to do so then I suggest you find another decorator.”

“Oh no, Mr. Chamberlain! You’re the only one we want!” Nancy exclaimed, glaring at her husband.

“That’s right! We’ve been told you are one of the best in your field and we don’t want to have to start all over again,” Donald agreed.

“We’re sorry and we promise to stay out of your way. Please say you’ll finish the job,” Nancy begged.

“All right, I’ll have my people here first thing Monday morning providing you two make yourselves scarce. Do we have an understanding or not?”

They assured him there would be no further interference on their part and that they were looking forward to the completed project. Glen finally felt he was in control of things, at least on the work front. Home was another matter altogether.

Glen had been ready to admit defeat by Sunday evening. He let out a long sigh of frustration. ‘It’s my fault,’ he thought in self-disgust, staring out the study window. ‘My partner asked for my help and I have failed to keep my part of our agreement.’ Nothing he said or did could sooth the resentment TJ was harbouring for having been practically ‘deserted’ as he put it.

“It’s as if I’ve been living alone for the past three weeks,” TJ petulantly complained. “There were times I needed you and you weren’t here.”

“I was only a phone call away and we’ve both been busy, TJ. I’ve got things under control now and won’t be putting in such long hours. We’ll get back on track, baby. Promise!” Glen looked into the pouting face in front of him and tried to explain as patiently as possible. “I’m sorry you’ve been on your own so much but that’s about to change; effective immediately.”

“I just thought our new agreement would bring us closer together,” TJ whispered, maintaining his pout to insure his partner’s awareness of his dissatisfaction.

“I don’t think we’ve given it enough of a chance to determine whether or not it’s going to work for us, babe,” Glen said softly as he pulled the younger man into his arms.

“Are we still going to do the six-month trial? I mean, we’ve already talked things over and set up some of the rules, right?” TJ questioned.

“Of course! It’s what we both want, isn’t it?”

“Yeah, I guess,” TJ responded with a shrug of his shoulders and squirmed out of the other man’s embrace. “I’m tired! I’m going to have a shower and go to bed.”

Glen understood that the usual invitation to join TJ would not be forthcoming. ‘That apology went over well,’ he thought wearily, shaking his head in frustration as he sat down at his desk and turned on the computer. He was hoping to get some badly needed advice from a couple of old friends.

“You have to put TJ first; he is your main priority,” Rowan had admonished him.

“You’ve apologized, now move on; take him in hand. He wants the structure; he needs to know you are there for him,” Jayson had further instructed.

Glen sat back in his chair to mull over the conversation he’d just had with his two closest friends. He thought about what had led up to him IM’ing Rowan and Jayson. He also mulled over the suggestions they had adamantly put forth.

‘Easier in theory than in practice,’ he thought as he turned off the computer. Getting to his feet, he headed for the master suite to get ready for bed, only to discover the bathroom in a mess. Deciding to avoid another round of arguing, he cleaned up the room himself.

Fifteen minutes later, Glen stretched out beside his partner. He didn’t think TJ was asleep even though the other man had remained perfectly still on his own side of the big bed. The gulf between them seemed insurmountable at the moment. Then he felt the small movements that let him know his partner was quietly crying. He reached over and pulled TJ into his arms. “It’s going to be okay, babe. We’ll work things out.” His soothing voice calmed the younger man. “Do you want to talk about it now or wait until the morning?” Glen gently inquired.

“No, I just want to sleep,” TJ tearfully whispered.

“All right, sweetheart. Things will look better after a good night’s rest.” Glen rhythmically rubbed TJ’s back until he felt his partner breathe in a deep sigh and relax. Only when he knew his lover was asleep, did he drift off himself.

Nothing got resolved the next morning. In fact, nothing even got discussed. TJ overslept, got up grouchy and in a hurry. He left for work without eating breakfast and after informing Glen, “If you happen to get home before I do, don’t hold supper. I’m not sure when I’ll be home.”

Glen was ready to pull his hair out. He consoled himself with the thought of them talking things over that evening.

Once again, no progress was made. TJ wandered in sometime after eight o’clock claiming he had already eaten. When Glen invited the younger man to sit down so they could spend time together just to talk and get closer, TJ went on the defensive.

“I know you think it’s all my fault!” TJ griped while he remained standing and glaring down at his partner on the couch.

“I think no such thing, TJ. We are both responsible for coming up with solutions to our problems. Don’t you agree with that, love?” Glen asked, patiently trying to instill a sense of reason and purpose.

“Yeah,” TJ begrudgingly acknowledged as he threw himself down on the far end of the sofa. “But I’m too tired to fight about it tonight,” he grumbled.

“Why do you feel we have to fight about it, baby? We’re two grown men and should be capable of conversing with each other without resorting to arguing and finger-pointing,” Glen gently chided. “We both want the same thing, sweetheart, so it shouldn’t be too difficult to work out a suitable arrangement. I love you, TJ, and only want what is best for you, for me, and for our relationship. But things are going to have to change fast.”

“I know, and I love you too,” TJ murmured sliding along the couch until he was within arms’ reach. “I’m sorry, Glen. I’ll try harder to do my part,” he said sincerely, looking into his lover’s blue eyes as his own misted. “But I’m not exactly sure what I’m supposed to do.”

Glen smiled as he pulled the younger man on to his lap and kissed him. “It’s all right, love. Why don’t you just let me take care of you for awhile? After all, it’s my responsibility to keep us on track, right? We’re both aware of the areas we have to work on and have set up guidelines to follow, so all we need to do now is follow them.” Glen gently kissed the short wiry curls on the head resting against his shoulder. He instinctively picked up his partner’s feelings of bewilderment and frustration. The other man’s fatigue didn’t help matters either.

“Okay,” TJ yawned, putting his arms around Glen’s neck and cuddling in closer. “Can we go to bed now?”

“Yeah, good idea; we can both use an early night,” Glen agreed, setting the younger man on his feet and taking his hand to walk with him into the bedroom.

Things did not improve very much over the next few days. By late Friday evening, after numerous attempts to get TJ to comply with even the most basic rules, Glen decided he’d had enough.

TJ had been given lines to do Wednesday for unexpectedly coming home late. Last night he had spent fifteen minutes before bed standing quietly in the corner and reflecting upon his inappropriate behaviour involving temper tantrums when reminded to pick up after himself. Then earlier today Glen had stopped off at the apartment to pick up some colour swatches and discovered his partner was already home.

“What’s wrong, TJ? Are you ill? Have you caught that nasty flu going around?” Glen asked; concern evident in his voice.

“No, I haven’t got the flu!” was TJ’s belligerent reply. He was slouched on the sofa with his feet on the coffee table, surfing the TV channels.

“Then why are you here in the middle of the afternoon instead of at work?” Glen inquired, sitting down and taking the remote to shut off the TV. He grabbed the other man’s arm to pull him back down when TJ moved to get up and leave the room. “I expect a civil answer to a civil question, young man! And if I were you, I’d lose the attitude.”

“I was sent home and told not to come back until Monday,” TJ informed his partner, “and then only if my manners improve. Happy now?” he asked sarcastically.

Taking a deep breath in an effort to remain calm, Glen said, “No, I’m not at all happy and just what do you mean by ‘if your manners improve’? What happened?”

TJ shrugged his shoulders in an attempt to lessen the importance of today’s events. “Mr. Bernstein, my boss, is blowing it all out of proportion. It’s my job to inform a doctor when there is a conflict in the medications he is prescribing. It’s not my fault the doctor filed a complaint,” he groused.

“It is your fault if the complaint concerned how you spoke to him,” Glen stated unsympathetically just as another suspicion crossed his mind. “Is that the only thing that happened to cause Mr. B. to send you home?”

“I think so……possibly…..maybe…..” TJ hedged, not wanting to admit to anything else that could be misconstrued as him acting inappropriately.

“Thomas Joshua, you have one minute to tell me everything before I call your employer,” Glen demanded, “and if I do have to make that call, you are the one who is not going to be too happy.”

Silence.

“One!”

Continued silence.

“Two!”

“Okay!” TJ wisely capitulated. He wasn’t exactly sure what the counting was leading to, but it had a familiar ring to it and he didn’t want to push it. “Mr. B. also had a complaint from a customer who said I was rude to her. I may have been a little impatient when I had to explain to her for the third time, how to take her prescription.”

“Anything else?” Glen had a perfectly good idea of what had probably taken place but was adamant about TJ telling him the entire story.

“I kinda made Sally cry,” TJ muttered before insisting in a louder voice, “but it wasn’t my fault. She should pay more attention to what she’s doing and then careless accidents wouldn’t happen.”

“In other words, you spent a great deal of the morning in a foul mood and taking it out on anyone unfortunate enough to get in your way. Isn’t that right?” Glen sternly admonished while glaring at his partner.

TJ was unsuccessful in his attempt to out-stare the older man and finally admitted defeat by hanging his head. “I didn’t mean to,” he shamefully murmured.

“All right, Thomas, this is how we are going to handle your appalling lack of self-control. First, you are grounded until you can return to work. Next, you’ll be preparing hand-written apologies to the doctor, the customer, your fellow employee and your boss. You will also write up an essay on how to treat people with kindness, dignity and respect. I have to deliver some swatches but will return as soon as possible and I’ll expect you to have a good start on these assignments. Do you understand me, young man?”

“Yes, Glen, I got it!” TJ answered in a small voice.

“Get paper and pens, make yourself comfortable at the dining room table and get busy! I shouldn’t be more than an hour.”

That conversation had taken place several hours ago. Glen had returned home in under an hour to find the apartment empty. Pens and papers had been left strewn across the floor where TJ had obviously thrown them in a fit of temper.

Fortunately, he now knew exactly what he had to do next, thanks once again to Rowan and Jayson.

************

A small sound pulled him out of his musings and turning towards the door of the study, he found himself looking into the face of his truant Brat. TJ stood in the doorway with a look of utter dejection and remorse on his young face. Glen’s heart went out to him as he opened his arms in welcome. TJ headed for the only place he wanted to be at that moment in time….on his lover’s lap.

“I’m so sorry,” the younger man wailed. “I shouldn’t have gone out. I should have done what you told me to do.”

“What were you thinking, baby?” Glen asked quietly, putting his hand under TJ’s shirt and rubbing circles on the smooth brown skin.

“I don’t know…..lots of things. I was scared,” he admitted, trying to get even closer to the older man.

“What were you frightened of?” Glen gently inquired as he tightened his embrace and kissed the head on his shoulder.

“That we’d keep on drifting further and further apart until you would leave me or kick me out or something,” TJ whispered his fears as a sob caught in his throat. “I know you’re becoming more and more disappointed and fed up with me.”

“Never, baby! That’s not going to happen, I promise. We’ve decided I’m in charge and that’s how it’s going to be from now on!” Glen looked down into two big, coffee-brown eyes filled with unanswered questions. “I’m going to set things right!”

“How are you going to do that?” TJ asked although he was afraid he might already have a pretty good idea.

“By doing something I should have done before now, young man.” Glen gently patted TJ’s backside and said, “Stand up, please.”

Getting to his feet, Glen walked over to the side of the room, pulled a straight-backed chair away from the wall and sat down.

“Come here, TJ.” Glen took slim, brown hands into his, looked up at the man they belonged to and informed him. “You’ve strayed over the line too far not to have to face the consequences, my love.” He watched the different expressions play across his partner’s face as he lowered the other man’s jeans and boxers before firmly settling him across his thighs. “What have you done to find yourself in this position, Thomas?” Glen asked in a stern voice.

“I was rude to people I work for and deal with. I was disrespectful to you by not working on my writing assignments and by going out when you told me I couldn’t.” TJ was already finding it hard to think and talk clearly while lying bare-butt over his partner’s knees.

“Close enough!” Glen was slightly surprised at his ability to do what had to be done; surprised that he was able to chastise this man whom he loved with all his heart, but he suddenly realized it was because of his love that he was able to do so.

Glen raised his left hand and brought it down with a resounding smack. He spanked firmly and steadily. He had heard a small squeak of surprise at the first swat followed by ragged breaths that quickly turned into sobs. He continued until a red hue appeared on the dark bottom. Although this first spanking lasted only a minute or two it was enough to get the message across. He stopped and gently rubbed his hand over the area it had just punished.

It took TJ several moments to realize the spanking was over and that the only sounds in the room were his own diminishing sobs and Glen’s soothing voice. He pushed away from his partner and slid to his knees.

“I’m sorry, Glen!” he cried, reaching around to hesitantly touch his sore bottom. He felt strong arms picking him up and immediately found himself sitting on Glen’s lap instead of lying face down over it.

“I know, baby. Shh, it’s over. It’s okay! Shhh…” Glen softly cooed as he calmed his partner and waited for the crying to gradually turn into hitching breaths and sniffles. Then he helped the other man remove his jeans and sneakers. “Let’s go get you cleaned up, babe. Then we can cuddle up in bed and talk,” he suggested as he set his lover on his feet and pulled up his boxers. He took TJ’s hand and led him out of the study, through the living room, into their bedroom and straight to their en suite. He gently washed the tear-stained face before guiding the younger man over to their bed and pushing aside the duvet so they could lie down together.

“I really am sorry, Glen,” TJ repeated for the umpteenth time as he pressed himself against his lover’s side and burrowed his head into the other man’s shoulder. “I’ve never acted that way on the job before. I don’t understand what happened.”

“It’s partially my fault, sweetheart. I should have been paying closer attention, especially after promising to provide the help you asked for. I will do everything in my power, not to let that happen again,” Glen promised, lifting his partner’s head to tenderly gaze into his beautiful face. “Your work can be very demanding and I am fully aware of how stressful you sometimes find it. People depend on you to get it right every single time and it isn’t easy having no margin for error.”

“Your job can get stressful, too. Sometimes you have to put up with rather demanding clients yourself,” TJ pointed out.

“But I don’t have to carry malpractice insurance, love,” Glen lightly teased. “And no one will get sick or die if the drapery colour is off by a shade or two.” He pulled TJ’s head back to its’ resting place on his chest and lovingly requested. “Let me take care of you and our relationship. Just let go, TJ. Trust me, my love.”

TJ sighed and relaxed into the embrace. Here in his lover’s strong arms he found the comfort and security he craved. “We’re okay, right?”

“We are more than okay, babe, and we’re just going to keep on getting better,” Glen assured him. “But you still have a writing assignment to complete and your grounding still applies until you go back to work.” He smiled at his partner’s exaggerated groan of defeat. Secretly, Glen thought Mr. B’s ‘time-out’ solution was very well-chosen.

TJ gingerly rubbed his still burning backside and hissed. “Man, you weren’t fooling when you said I’d find out how hard you could spank. I sure hope we don’t have to deal with too many of these bumps in the road.”

“Every time we come to a bump, we’ll take care of it, smooth it out and start over. How’s that for a plan, TJ?”

“Sounds fine to me,” TJ agreed with a contented sigh.

The End